We talk a lot about accountability in schools and districts. But here’s the quiet truth underneath it: many leaders avoid holding people accountable because they don’t want to be disliked.
It’s not always fear. It’s not always lack of skill. Often, it’s culture.
A culture where:
- Feedback is coded as punishment instead of growth.
- Accountability is equated with conflict instead of clarity.
- Leaders believe that if they push too hard, they’ll lose relationships.
And that belief runs deep: “If I give hard feedback, people won’t like me.”
The irony? That avoidance doesn’t build safety. It erodes it.
When accountability is absent, teams start second-guessing. Inequities go unchecked. Trust fractures because the silence says more than the words would have.
The Redesign
Accountability doesn’t have to be about blame. It can be about empowerment.
- Feedback as care: Naming gaps because you believe the person is capable of more.
- Accountability as clarity: Setting expectations that remove confusion and favoritism.
- Follow-through as equity: Ensuring every student, staff member, and family receives consistency—not just those who already hold power.
Because accountability, when done well, isn’t about being liked. It’s about being trusted
Where to Go From Here
If you’re a leader navigating the balance between relationships and accountability → Start small.
- Ask your team: “What does accountability look like when it’s rooted in care?”
- Use that conversation to rebuild clarity, not fear.
If you’re part of a district rethinking feedback culture → Share this post in your next leadership or cabinet meeting.
Use it as a prompt: “Where are we avoiding feedback and what’s that avoidance costing us?”
If you want to keep learning with DEEP → Subscribe for DEEP’s leadership insights and tools.
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