I used to say it, too: “I don’t care if I’m liked.”
But let’s be real. When you’re liked, you move things faster. Emails get answered. People show up. Initiatives get traction. Because people follow you if they like you.
But at what cost?
In Districts, Here’s How It Shows Up:
- The “likable” leader who avoids conflict. Belonging gets watered down so no one’s uncomfortable.
- The “beloved” principal who says yes to everything. Staff like them, but they’re quietly drained, carrying everyone else’s load without boundaries or backup.
- The “friendly” superintendent who builds rapport easily. But when it’s time for tough calls—staff reassignments, budget shifts, accountability—trust wavers. The connection wasn’t built on clarity, it was built on comfort.
Being liked can grease the wheels. But if it’s built on self-abandonment, silence, or avoidance, it costs you the Belonging you were hired to deliver.
It’s great to be liked—but leadership also demands the integrity to tell the truth, make hard decisions, and hold steady when it’s uncomfortable.
Because districts don’t just need leaders who are liked. They need leaders who are trusted leaders whose honesty builds safety, not silence.
Where This Lands for You:
If you’re a district team noticing this pattern → Start the conversation in the comment section below.
- Share this post in your next team or leadership meeting.
- Ask: “Where does our culture reward likability over honesty?”
If you’re a leader reflecting personally → Take a pulse check this week.
- Where have you softened truth to stay likable?
- What would it look like to rebuild that moment on trust instead?
Liked gets you applause. Trust gets you transformation.
So ask yourself:
Are you moving fast because people like you—or moving forward because people trust you?
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